No lie, I woke up today with a very heavy heart. The first words of my devotion after I woke:
“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.
And that price was exorbitant – My very LIFE!
I went through excruciating pain and humiliation as I sacrificed Myself for your sins.
This was a gift of infinite value – an act of indescribable LOVE.”
It wasn’t just a few tears and then off to start my day.
It was endless tears; all day with a heavy heart.
It was driving to work and wondering if anyone else around me was feeling this way.
It was wondering why I forget this too often.
It was texting my sisters and seeing that they were in pain too.
It was being reminded of Jesus WASHING Judas’ feet just moments before Judas traded Him for 30 pieces of silver.
It was being reminded that it didn’t stop there.
Peter denied him 3 times.
The crowd turned Him over to be crucified.
Pilate sent Him to die.
As all this went through my mind and my heart was in pain. In pain because I don’t stand above Judas and Peter. I too have traded Jesus for much less. I too have denied Jesus. I too turned Him over to be crucified. I too sent Him to die.
But I also kept hearing that whisper from the most loving Father. The whisper of, He knew all along. He knew we would betray Him. He knew that Adam would eat from the tree. He knew we would run away, time after time. He knew that we would keep sinning and choose this world and His creation, but not Him.
Yet, He still went.
He took the cross.
He took the crown of thorns.
He took the beating.
He took the mocking.
Mocking from His own creation.
Mocking from His OWN creation.
How?! How could the all powerful, all mighty, all loving Creator still allow His OWN creation to do that to Him?! So no, it was not a good Friday – not if it means all of that. It is not a good Friday for us to take pleasure in what we did and continue to do to Him.
I know that this pain that I felt today doesn’t even begin to compare to what He went through. What I put Him through when I choose sin over Him.
That Friday, the Father’s face TURNED AWAY.
That Friday, Jesus cried in pain.
It was His perfect self – the perfect union and perfect love that was TORN apart and allowed Jesus to be in MY place. Allowed Jesus to be treated as a sinner, so that WE may not suffer the turning of His face.
Because He loves us. He loves me.
It’s not anything that I have done or can ever do.
He didn’t wait for me to be good.
He helped us, He chose us – continues to choose us forever because He LOVES us.
It wasn’t until tonight, at church service that I wept in gratitude.
I wept from being reminded that…God, who is RICH in mercy, He delivered a promise.
A promise that although the words “It is finished” were whispered, the story doesn’t end there.
It’s not only that my sins are forgiven.
No, because Sunday is coming.
“Sin is a terrible, crushing burden, but I have paid the price in FULL to remove it from you forever.”
Praise God that I have hope because of what is coming Sunday.
Praise God that I am clothed in His righteousness because of what Friday means.
That’s why today is GOOD.
What amazing grace.